Transforming the Potential of the Engagement Ring (Ansel Adams)

It was only a few months ago, that I discovered how truly unique and customization engagement rings can be from one couple to the next. As someone who has never thought about engagement or marriage - at least, not at this juncture in my life - what I knew about bridal jewelry has been shaped by television, movies, and other forms of pop culture. As someone with divorced parents who never even bothered to tell me their engagement story, I found the whole concept distasteful, to say the least.

Pop culture was also responsible for helping me break all of those conceptions. While it can be difficult to divorce the idea of a formal union from ideas about power relationships and sociological principles, those perspectives do not invalidate how meaningful these experiences can be. Betrothal rings are often made to be affordable and accessible to the average, everyday middle class consumer. Working side by side with professional jewelers can ensure you get a fully customized design. What about making the ring yourself?

I realized a huge part of my criticisms had to do with the purchase of an expensive item of jewelry that was supposed to symbolize love and union, but was then only worn by the woman to enforce a sexist idea of property and ownership. In a convention panel a few years ago, Misha Collins, one of the actors on CW's hit show Supernatural, helped to change my mind. He retold the story of his own engagement to his high school sweetheart, Dr. Victoria Vantoch, a respected writer and columnist.

Misha had worked on crafting a ring at a jewelers bench, effectively interning for a while during the time he was filming. Ecstatic at finishing it before their anniversary, he proposed that evening, saying, "We've been together for ten years. Will you marry me?" To which a confused Victoria responded, "We've been together for nine years, haven't we?" By this point, Misha was not sure she was going to say yes, but she did.

The next day, she presented him with his own ring. It had also been a custom design, drilled with a hole for each year they had been together - a total of ten. The night he had proposed, she had snuck out of bed to get another hole drilled into the ring before the morning. He had beaten her to the proposal by one day.

Stories like this one help us understand ways in which traditions like engagement rings that have historically been harmful can be transformed into something wholly personal and different.

Ansel Adams is exceedingly interested in diamonds of all shapes and sizes. He explains about tips on finding diamonds and diamond engagement rings.